We are continuing our exploration of The Ascend Method™ this month with our discussion of “C – Communicating Boundaries.”
Boundaries in the workplace is a pretty hot topic these days. Whether you are a former “Yes Woman/Man” or someone who naturally sets and holds boundaries with ease, the need for boundaries is becoming more critical than ever. Work/life boundaries are essential for our overall well-being and happiness, in addition to ensuring we are achieving productivity and peace of mind each day.
The Harvard Business Review defines boundaries as “limits we identify for ourselves, and apply through action or communication. When we define what we need to feel secure and healthy, when we need it…we can do wonders for our well-being at work and at home — which, in turn, allows us to bring our best selves to both places.”
Our current culture places an immense pressure upon us to be accessible to everyone, at all times. With the advent of cell phones, laptops, and smart watches, we are available at the touch of a button. Many of us have become addicted not only to our favorite apps and tech tools, but also to the idea of being needed and being accessible all the time.
The technology that allows us to be instantly connected with one another is clearly here to stay, and will likely only increase in speed and accessibility. It is time to acknowledge that it is largely up to us to (re)establish the boundaries that we uniquely need for a healthier balance in our lives. No one else is going to put them in place for us! I firmly believe the first step we all must take is to consider a perspective shift on the implications of being overly accessible vs being available with limits. Being unavailable during parts of each day is not something to feel guilty about, nor is it rude. It is a form of self-care and self-prioritization, and is vital to actually being present & productive when it matters most.
If you are ready to embrace that perspective shift and lead the way in embracing boundaries, read on for some practical strategies to communicate and uphold healthy boundaries.
Available or Overly Accessible
If you don’t create opportunities throughout your day when you are unavailable, you will never be able to tap into deep focus or achieve flow. Without boundaries, people will constantly be pulling your attention away from your priorities and diverting it to their priorities. As leaders and team players, we need to find the right balance of being available yet not overly accessible.
Allow yourself to close the proverbial door to your office (and life!) from time to time. Put on headphones, relocate to a quiet corner of the office, and/or work offline throughout the day and week. Block out an hour or two on the family calendar that is reserved for me time. These reasonable constraints will actually result in healthier relationships and allow you to be truly present- body and mind- with others throughout the week. An added bonus is that sometimes, when you aren’t immediately accessible, your team or family will solve some problems on their own!
Communication is Key
It’s important to proactively discuss rules and best practices around communication with coworkers and with family, before a line is crossed too far or too often. Be direct, honest, and gentle in sharing your needs and limits. As Brene Brown teaches, “Clear is Kind.” Don’t expect people to infer your preferred boundaries. Focus on how a specific boundary can be mutually beneficial. For example, if you introduce a boundary that eliminates internal workplace email responses after 6:00 pm, your team will feel free to also shut down their inbox in the evenings. Lead by example and be equitable and flexible in accommodating others’ boundaries. Work to normalize communicating boundaries within a team or family, assuring others there is no need to feel guilty when expressing one’s limits or needs.
What’s Your Emergency?
This strategy can lead to a significant reduction in the number of “urgent” interruptions you encounter throughout each workday. Gather the team preemptively to discuss and clearly define/align on what constitutes a true emergency. In most organizations and industries, there are very few circumstances where a leader or team member must address a problem immediately. Decide collectively what truly constitutes the need to “kick down the door,” speed dial your mobile after-hours, &/or call in reinforcement to get your attention. Many so-called “emergencies” can be re-classified as “High importance” or “Time sensitive.” Create a response plan and reasonable response time for these types of situations. Once the leader and team members have a shared and agreed-upon understanding of how promptly problems must be dealt with – and who else on the team has the authority and autonomy to resolve those problems without the leader’s involvement – everyone will benefit from the de-escalation of what was once considered a “five-alarm fire.” This strategy alone can spark the shift in perspective on the impact of being unavailable.
Boundaries through Role Definition
As a leader, it is vital to define, document, and distribute roles and responsibilities for each team member (including yourself) so the right people are being asked to do the right tasks. When there is clarity and transparency around each person’s responsibilities and highest priorities, it can eliminate duplication of work, minimize scope-creep, and support and empower the team in creating their own boundaries. A client of mine experienced a measurable decrease in internal conflict and an increase in task ownership when he published the company’s updated R&R documents and created open dialogue at team meetings around each role and how each team member was tasked with prioritizing and organizing their responsibilities.
Achieving Mastery
Creating and clarifying boundaries can be challenging in professional and personal settings. Yet the extra work and courageous conversations almost always lead to rewarding results and a healthier workplace culture where respect and trust thrive. Communicating boundaries may not come naturally for us all, but adding the strategies above along with being willing to engage in conversation will undoubtedly lead to a more balanced work life and personal life.
Looking for support in improving how you create and communicate boundaries? Reach out! We are here to help you navigate the fundamentals as you ascend to your highest potential!
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